Plans for Montana are shaping up. Exciting.

Also, looks like I’m the “official tanker driver” for toorcamp. Having a big truck and a commercial drivers license comes in handy, no?

So it looks like I’m going to leave town towards the end of the week and head to Montana with T & J. I’m excited to get out of town. I’ve been getting some work done, and feeling less distraught, but it makes me think I can think about L and not be upset. This is pretty quickly proven untrue. So I’m getting out of the state on an adventure. It’s been a while, and I’m sad that L won’t be coming, ever. But adventures matter because they’re full of the unexpected, so back to living and seeing what happens.

I’ll be missing some bike camping, which is sad, but I can’t do everything. Plus I don’t want to be around Seattle for West Side because it just reminds me of L. Bleh.

I met up with a bunch of Chef related people for drinks tonight. This was really good, in a number of ways. Chef is so exciting.

NASCAR announced that a Toyota Camry hybrid would be the pace car for the Coca-Cola 600 at Lowe’s Motor Speedway next month. “I’d prefer a stock car, knowing how exciting it is to hear the engine roar,” said driver Denny Hamlin, “but I think NASCAR drivers are embracing the green outlook of hybrids.”

Man. Really? Get me out of here.

In a cruel twist of bioengineering, the romantic craving actually gets more intense post-dumping.

It’s pretty interesting stuff, actually.

T: How do you really feel about driving to montana tonight? Serio. I have government money and J on board
B: Haha. For how long? I have a job, remember.
T: Um a week?
B: I can’t really ask for vacation time at 2am.

You know though, leaving the state for a few days sounds like a pretty good idea right now. Maybe the coffee isn’t working.

And like I really deserve a chance to,
Sit across the table,
And tell you that I think you’re wonderful.
And I think you’re something special.
I guess this is my only chance to,
Say I wish I knew you,
Because I’m sure you’re wonderful,
If I’d get to know you

I deserve this, or did it to myself or something. But I absolutely didn’t need to hear this song. Thanks iTunes. I have a deadline today. But now I just.  Christ.

Found on facebook, which is funny. (S told me today, “I think you and I have different definitions of funny”)

When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life.

Because it is a beautiful experience, remember?

I haven’t listened to Iris in years. I picked up a some kids hitching across Maine from the end of the rail in Jackman to Cherryfield once. I was listening to this song, and the girl riding in front with me turned it up. This made me happy. So much changes, but some things never do.

What a night. You can probably tell from the random posts that make little sense due to lack of context and use of completely wrong words. I don’t even remember where the last one came from, I’m still piecing bits together. I bet it was because M said something like that once, about how she dated me for who I could be. I have no idea why I would have said that. I woke up with this typed out in an unpublished post:

A fifth of Jack with J to finish off the night with falafel and tales of adventure;.

A lot was said, and I’m glad we could be there for each other.

So, obviously, not drinking was a failure. Talked last night about how it always seemed stupid when jocks punched walls when their girlfriends upset them in high school. But then, you know, the emotions totally give you all this shit inside of you, I can’t find the words for it, but you want to hit something. And yup, it’s stupid. Learning is hard. Or as I said on Okcupid (holy shit, remember okcupid? That was soooo long ago), “growing up is hard. hrmf.”

C at the market asked how my day was, to which I responded “That’s sort of a loaded question.” How do you say, “my girlfriend dumped me and it totally wrecked me.” Oh, yeah, just like that.

Work beckons.

I was certainly much happier then, than I am now.

“I don’t love you for what you are, but I love you got what you could be”

3/4 of a 1/5th with J, looking at a photo of an ex. Talking about making paper-mache hearts. oh love.