I really need it. I missed an advocacy meeting today because I crashed on a futon at work at 5pm.

I had dinner tonight with a friend and a long discussion about J calling me out on M, and wondering if I’m only wanting what I can’t have. In the past we’ve talked about why I wasn’t happy with the relationships I had, and I can’t complain so much anymore. There are plenty of great women in my life these days.

This friend wondered if I should just cut off M altogether. Maybe. There really isn’t much to cut off, which is kind of the point.

Well, no, the point is wondering why I care so much about something that isn’t there. Meh.

My physical sense of self usually find balance in goofiness. I don’t take it very seriously and shrug it off with a joke. I’m unable to fully comprehend how, large, I seem in this AA group photo.

Ambiguous. There’s definitely a different between the new and unknown, and that which is there but carries no certainty. In traditional worn out habit, Tori and I drove to Fred Meyer for movies and ice cream, retiring to basement-land with comfort food, couches, and 500 days of Summer.

This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.

I’m sure I quoted this when I first watched it in the theater. This is another busy week as I wrap up big changes in my life and begin new chapters, so I don’t know why I am awake at 2am. Finding rest, albeit not sleeping. I just…. I’m glad that as people choose to come and go from my life, they continue to amaze me and cause wonderment and respect.