A friends facebook photo listed a few people that I know that liked it. I can’t even summarize how I know those people, but they’re from both coasts and I have long and different histories with them.
One of K’s patients said to her “40, 50, 60, 70, 80– it all goes by so fast. It’s a short, crazy life, and if more people knew that, we wouldn’t get into wars and all this nonsense.” In this context, it’s been a helluva ride. For the first time in a while, I’m really looking forward to the future.
When Dad passed away, sometimes when talking to people about what I was going to do I would lightly kick the wall of the house and say, “and then there is this…” The wall would give a strong solid thud. Last night Kate and I had dinner with Matthew and Peggy. There was also as a surprise accompaniment of Trevor and Jennifer, new neighbors of theirs, who have gotten a bit of national attention for their container home lately. Trevor said that Matthew had mentioned I had always planned on building a container home. Being a social event, I didn’t want to turn conversation to my father’s death, so I just mentioned that life happens and I had a house now.
A house. A castle, I thought the other day as I was looking out one of the many south facing windows overlooking the field. We were chatting with a neighbor at the beach the other day who, as a gardener, admitted to coveting that field.
Everything is different. Every time I came home I felt a pull back here that some would try to dispel. Everything is right. So much is new and unknown and constituted of a future of challenge. I’m really happy about this.
I’m here for a month. Then I’m going back to Seattle to visit the office, assess how working remotely has gone, visit life there and prepare for Burning Man. After Burning Man, I’ll stick around Seattle for a week or so, then come back to Maine. In particular, I’m returning before the Common Ground Country Fair, where I grew up volunteering. When I started volunteering at Burning Man, I looked back at my experience at the CGCF. I realized how well it had prepared me well for Gate at BM.
Yesterday was spent on the logistics of workings from Surry. I’ve been slowly working on dismantling my childhood bed. The frame is 48″ x 84″ (4′ x 7′) making it a rare “Super Single,” but I saved it anyway. It contained an old water that had no baffles and wasn’t much fun, which I disposed of earlier in the year. Most of the frame made it to the basement, I need to find help to get the remaining heavy portion of the frame moved still. I moved my bed and furniture that I had stored in the spare room when I moved to Seattle up to my old room so I could make the spare room into an office. I’ve been staying in my fathers room so far this year and will continue to do so, because its floor plan isn’t interrupted by a chimney (from the wood cook-stove in the kitchen) like my old room is. I believe my intermittent problems with my land-line are finally solved, with the continued help of a Fairpoint (Formerly Verizon, Bell Atlantic, New England Telephone and NYNEX; telephone company churn is amazing) technician; time will tell. Fairpoint‘s bleak financial state means it is unlikely to get DSL service in the near future, so Internet service was installed by Premium Choice Broadband. The name invokes distrust in the company, as does their unprofessional website and confused FAQ. All of my neighbors use them, as satellite is the only other option, and seem happy enough. The hole they drilled through the house for their cable didn’t increase my confidence either. I’ll fix it up later myself, I need to run a cable to the living room for the new DVD player, to replace yet another that has stopped reading new DVDs, which also has some internet streaming functionality. I also got the plow move out of the way to start site work on the garage. So a pretty productive day.
It was also hot, in the low 80s. In fact, it was still a “cool 80” in the bedroom when I went to bed last night. I wanted to go swimming all day, but couldn’t find the chance. But when Kate came home, caked with dirt from farming, she asked me what I thought about swimming. Yes! We’re lucky to own a family beach down on the lake, so off we went. A good portion of the neighborhood was there too, so we spent a bit socializing before actually getting in the water, but neighbors are great too. When we were leaving I said “Have a nice night” to my neighbor John, who has known me since I was born. He replied that he didn’t know how it could get any nicer. Indeed, an evening on the beach on beautiful Toddy Pond after a hot day is pretty hard to beat.
Time has been fully distorted. I can’t grasp that I’ve only been here three nights so far. This morning I was thinking about if I should go to the grocery store today for vegetables for dinner, and remembered that we’re eating with friends and family the next three nights. This is all very good.
Up early, after the phone rang from family on the east coast this morning. On Friday I head to Maine for a month, the first of many stays that will eventually transition into trips to Seattle to visit, rather than the other way around.
Big changes, whose outline I knew before I rode into the deeps of Alaska and Canada. They’re more defined now, and the shape slowly seeps out for others to see.
Mom stirs in her tent, half awake, and smile in back of my Suburban. After 20 days on the road, setting up a tent isn’t fun and the back of the truck is conveniently dry. It also carries meaning, as I look forward to seeing Kate and building a relationship together, the truck reminds me of those past.
So much is changing, as my reevaluated priorities take form from action. Nobody is up to date at any one time. Much else is unknown and insecure, and I suppose that it always is so it is worth accepting this.
Have I not been writing because I’ve been busy? Has Kate received that energy like Z or M once did? Perhaps with so much change, I’m feeling out what I want, and acting on it, without much idle reflection in the middle.
Moving forward, and I’ll look around at what remains when I get there.