I was pretty surprised by a bunch of this:

“On Dec. 16, the Pew Internet and American Life Project released the results of a study, “Digital Footprints,” showing that 60 percent of Internet users surveyed are not worried about how much information is available about them online.”

“The day may come when nothing that is said online will be treated as embarrassing because we will have become accustomed to everyone disclosing everything. “

I am. I never suspected everyone else was getting there. “No more secrets”? Where’s Robert Redford.

Headed back to the west coast tomorrow morning. It’s been nice seeing everyone but as holiday vacation always goes most of the time was spent driving around trying to see everyone. We had a good party at Dave’s house on Wednesday and got to see a bunch of the old kids, at least the ones that don’t currently hate each other, sheesh. Notably Rob managed to not die on Halloween when a power line fell on his head due to a car accident. Electricity came out his arm requiring a bunch of reconstructive work. Such that everyone was used to arm injuries and I don’t think I showed anyone my laceration. Weird how you lose touch with shit though. Turns out Dustin’s mom died a year ago and some how many of us didn’t know. Silly social bullshit I guess.

Good times ahead though I think.

Looking forward to seeing the friends again and getting back on a horse or two. Been hanging out with Maria again which is just wonderful, hopefully that lasts. Lots of plans, including trips to PDX and back to SFO soon. Gotta fix the truck and get in some snowboarding too. I did a little work on Grampie McLellan’s glass cockpit on his kitplane, trying to work out the calibration on the sensors for the EFIS One system. Amusingly I can’t help but think about EFIS One without thinking about Aegis One. Hopefully that’s not a sign of any kind.

It’s wholly frustrating that it seems like the more I figure out about myself, and the more I figure out about other people, how useless it seems to be. Old school get together in Maine was fun. I did my best to avoid all the stories of who was mad with over this guy or that girl and who isn’t making the effort in friendships anymore. Definiately the more I feel like I’m acting against my inhibitions on my feelings, the more I find myself feeling outside on these situations looking in, like I’m somehow destined to always been an observer.

I know I can just move on. I’ve left plenty behind in the past that seemed worthwhile at the time to start over. I suppose it just may come to that again, as I’m constantly stuck in this zone of being felt sorry for. It’s probably that time again, it’s just sad, and in the interim, makes it hard to sleep.

I actually created a task called “Write about worry, obliviousness and being a jerk, distraction” to remind myself to write something this morning so I wouldn’t forget my ponderings. I did this from my phone, where typing, especially with a large drip in one hand is, lets  just say, inconvenient.

I’ve had a number of things worrying me for a while, or perhaps, stressing me out. Some of you may be aware of some, such as the reenacted ‘reckless driving’ foolishness, taxes, injury lawsuits, etc.

My counselor as been unavailable for a bit due to an illness and I’ve being going it alone, feeling that since I bailed from Strategy, life has been returning to ‘normal’ and I’ve got an okay grip on what’s reasonable and what isn’t, which is a topic of great debate between me, and well, myself. The last 18 months have been on my mind due to all of this, and since I’ve been working at Widemile things have certainly been better, so I’ve been wondering how much of that is accountable to being distracted and busy.

I was thinking this morning about a friend from Maine, Steve, who used to work in NYC decades ago and moved to Maine to  take it slow and easy. I wonder what it would be like to take things slow and easy. Would I be stressed out? Is my most capable way of dealing with stress by being distracted, be it working, drinking (hah), movies, video games, trips or whatever? How much is being distracted or disconnected a coping mechanism? I’ve taken care of a few things the last couple of days, and I’m starting to take care of a couple bits that have stressed me for a while but I’ve ignored, recently throwing in the towel.

I wish I could remember the quote, but a friend once joked about me saying “Is she crazy, or am I a jerk?”. I was stuck thinking about that this morning, as I come to grips with having opinions. Which is a huge deal for me, if you didn’t notice you may not be able to appreciate how life changing it really is.

hanging out at work waiting on some server updates and downloads. December is going to be busy, Tori, Kirsten and I are going to SFO next weekend for fun. After that, I’m headed home to Maine for a week.

Awesomely, the city decided to refile charges against me in the whole motorcycle accident thing. I’m still amazed a this process, and it’s lack of sanity. Primarily, that nobody from the prosecutors office or the police department has ever spoken with me, they must seem pretty sure of whatever the hell they intend on arguing, since nobodys taken the time to even communicate that to me yet. Somehow, the new pre-trial hearing is on 12/24. Sigh. What placement. I’m trying to get the lawyer to get it moved. I’d make some regular sarcastic comment here about killing everyone, but with bloggers getting prosecuted more and more these says, I probably shouldn’t.

But yeah. I’m going to fucking kill someone. I don’t know who, and not for anything related to the last paragraph, but you all better watch your backs! ALL OF YOU, YOU …. Yeah. Jerks.  I’m just going to call you jerks, doesn’t involve me having to stand, and well… jail time.

New job is so broad I’m throwing myself at one absurdly deep problem after another. If you’ve been watching the tech blog at all I’m sure you’ve seen it. Shmoocon’s coming up early this year, in February. I’ve gotta start planning for that. In DC, as usual.