Something terrible should happen soon to balance things out. A couple great weights are off my shoulders, the prophesied July rolled into August, but it’s coming to a close finally. September will be a month of new beginnings in many ways, and in between, I’m going to check out and head to Burning Man for 18 days. I’m disappointed M isn’t back in Seattle, I had hoped to see her in August, but I leave tomorrow. Tomorrow! So much to do.<\/p>\n
When I deposited my settlement check, the bank cashier asked me what I planned to do with it. I told him I’ll be paying off all the medical bills, of course. The branch manager came over to verify everything and asked the same question. I felt like George Clooney in a bank heist movie. Day by day I feel like identifying as a tree fort building boy is being picked apart slowly, but I figure the spirit will always stay. As I grow up, I face new problems, heavier ones, moral dilemmas, the acceptance that I can change the world, and that I affect it every day.<\/p>\n
Great conversation lately that centered around alcohol has lead into talking about goals, and the realization that we have them…. the strength to admit them and offer them… the vulnerability. I had a dream about M last night. I believe we were in my fathers bedroom in Maine and I was trying to ask her about how she felt. She was shifty, avoiding the difficult of answering by physically hiding. I recall finding her in the closet near the rifles and my mind briefly shifted to recent conversations with my therapist about suicide in the family. I realize now that I need to talk about this more.<\/p>\n
Well, the fluids in the truck aren’t going to change themselves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Something terrible should happen soon to balance things out. A couple great weights are off my shoulders, the prophesied July rolled into August, but it’s coming to a close finally. September will be a month of new beginnings in many ways, and in between, I’m going to check out and head to Burning Man for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1291"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1291"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1291\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1292,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1291\/revisions\/1292"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}