{"id":1303,"date":"2010-09-10T17:03:02","date_gmt":"2010-09-11T01:03:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/?p=1303"},"modified":"2010-09-10T17:03:02","modified_gmt":"2010-09-11T01:03:02","slug":"letters-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/2010\/09\/10\/letters-2\/","title":{"rendered":"letters"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There is this file named after M in the home directory of my server. I stumble across it now and then. It&#8217;s an email I somehow saved, I&#8217;m not sure how or why, because I use google apps for my mail and all that.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Just keep being you, I&#8217;m pretty fond of you that way.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>It&#8217;s fucking strange. It&#8217;s so happy, but without looking it&#8217;s days before we broke up. As I read it I think that M felt guilt and pressure about being good enough for me. I think about J speculating about her feeling like she didn&#8217;t deserve me. I think about M talking about my being remarkable and K speaking of the wonderful things I do. And I go back and read it again and think. I&#8217;m so nice in this email. Happy, and nice, and eager about the future and making everything work out. And I think of A asking me where I learned to communicate so well. And I know, from all of this, I couldn&#8217;t have done a thing about any of it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There is this file named after M in the home directory of my server. I stumble across it now and then. It&#8217;s an email I somehow saved, I&#8217;m not sure how or why, because I use google apps for my mail and all that. Just keep being you, I&#8217;m pretty fond of you that way. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1303"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1304,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303\/revisions\/1304"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1303"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1303"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}