Current theme song: Desperado (as covered by Johnny Cash)<\/p>\n
I scour M’s blog for something I read last night to quote for context.<\/p>\n
I’m glad you’re alive. I love you and I want you to keep your head above water, but I don’t miss you any more. Not like I used to.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I had a physical today. It’s been about four years. I felt accomplished, like this was some significant bucket-list quality feat. The doctor mostly told to me work on my hygiene. This came as no surprise, I led him down that road anyway. I know what my problems are, and I’m getting around to them. Doctors always tell me my neurology is fine, but that I really should go to a dentist again. There’s a bucket-list item. Anyway, my past physical trauma is, as they say, unimpressive. That’s good.<\/p>\n
He was glad that I see a counselor regularly, although I felt like he expressed as much in concern for my stress level. Of course, I go to therapy because I’m twenty-eight and I feel like the quantity of people I date isn’t going to change the reality that I’ve only really<\/em> liked a couple people in my life and it wasn’t reciprocal. Not that I’m trying to get anywhere in particular, but my biological imperative isn’t happy about waking up alone every morning.<\/p>\n
I heart still skips a beat when I run across L on the internet. It’s my little secret, because there isn’t anything to do about it.<\/p>\n
I was thinking over some chili at SP tonight about how writing a special girl, or even a girl I’d like to be special, is a unique release for me. It’s the closet I come to not being alone, when I am, in fact, physically alone. Writing L is usually sending my thoughts into a void, and I wonder at times if it is because I never hear back from her, or because I slaughter my thoughts with censorship whenever I interact with her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Current theme song: Desperado (as covered by Johnny Cash) I scour M’s blog for something I read last night to quote for context. I’m glad you’re alive. I love you and I want you to keep your head above water, but I don’t miss you any more. Not like I used to. I had a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1410"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1410"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1410\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1411,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1410\/revisions\/1411"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1410"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1410"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1410"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}