{"id":1425,"date":"2011-02-18T13:42:36","date_gmt":"2011-02-18T21:42:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/?p=1425"},"modified":"2011-02-18T13:42:36","modified_gmt":"2011-02-18T21:42:36","slug":"it-feels-real-so-it-is-real","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/2011\/02\/18\/it-feels-real-so-it-is-real\/","title":{"rendered":"it feels real, so it is real."},"content":{"rendered":"

Current theme song: Bonnie Tyler – Making Love Out of Nothing at All<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Reflective days lately. I just want to be outside.<\/p>\n

And I’m never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you
\nBut I know I gotta give it a try<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I may have written about this lately, but I got talking to J about how I naturally fall back on being up front with how I feel and what I think. I suppose I’m pretty good at filtering what I think as appropriate, but I struggle more with filtering how I feel. It was really hard, and still is, deciding what to keep from L. It’s sort of a moot point, I suppose, but it feels real, so it is real. I suppose this filters people, because not everyone really knows how to deal with how raw I can be. I definitely throw a blanket of sarcasm over all of it. A friend made a comment about the tunnel on facebook recently which sparked a bit of debate. I responded mostly with sarcasm, such as complaining about the gridlock on the ferries, but did make some honest remarks. A couple people laughed at my jokes. One gave recognition to my use of references in a facebook argument. Another said,<\/p>\n

In general I don’t engage arguments against the BTM ‘cuz he’s one of those rare people smart enough to withhold an opinion unless he’s got solid backing for it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I laughed because he’s right. I don’t like arguing over something I don’t think I know much about or have experience with. I hate it when other people do. It’s pretty neat that someone noticed. I think.<\/p>\n

But yeah! It feels real, so it is real. God dammit, kid. Next person that tells me to “get over it” I’m going to have Tori punch.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I don’t know that it’s particularly common that folks figure out what’s on the other side of that sarcasm. I mean, people that spend a while around me all get to know my heart and dependability. This course is why I tend to laugh at trying to figure out other people too much, since it has been such a road figuring out myself. Along the way I’ve learned to not try to make everyone like me, and not worry too much when they don’t. As I told M recently, “I just often feel like I’m squinting at a star-ish shaped piece wonder if it’s going to squeeze into that space or not.” Also, fuck your context.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Current theme song: Bonnie Tyler – Making Love Out of Nothing at All. Reflective days lately. I just want to be outside. And I’m never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you But I know I gotta give it a try I may have written about this lately, but I got talking to J […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1425"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1426,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425\/revisions\/1426"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1425"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1425"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1425"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}