When M called me her “ex-partner,” I had some internal doubts. Her lack of commitment, in fact her phobia of commitment, was the demise of our relationship. A conversation with Kate about the definition of partnership determined that building something together was key, and you can’t build anything if you can’t follow through. Perhaps some people disagree. I could see some “activist types” disagreeing whose goal is a utopia rather than simple solid progress.<\/p>\n
I’m moving to Maine.<\/p>\n
I haven’t known how to say this exactly, but as dates draw closer it is remarkable simpler. This weekend I head to Burning Man. I return around 9\/6 and on 9\/10 I have a one-way airplane ticket to Maine. Of course, I had a one-way ticket in March before my father died, but that was more of an open-ended deal and less of a move. I expect I will return to Seattle at Christmas to spend time with my Mother. If all goes well, Kate and I will both fly out for a bit, and then drive the Suburban and a U-Haul trailer back to Maine. So that may be when I’m really moving. That I have most everything I need in both places right now has made it confusing. Perhaps the biggest shift is that I’m planning on almost entirely moving out of my bedroom this week.<\/p>\n
Why? First, nothing was made more clear by my fathers death than the mortality of my family. My grandparents are all nearing eighty, making moving back to Maine “someday” a non-starter. It has to be now. Second, it is the life I’ve wanted. Every time I’ve come back to Seattle from visiting home, I haven’t felt right. This has usually been dismissed by others as being the product of a vacation but that hasn’t added up. I miss the woods; not the woods where we all go hiking on the weekends and camp in the tents we bought at REI, but the woods that I wake up in every day and have the smell of fresh cut firewood. Third, an incredibly lucky bonus on my part, Kate. Some time ago I bet Tanya $20 that I would marry Kate, and I intend to collect on that bet. As a man who doesn’t ever bet more than a shiny nickel, my seriousness should be evident.<\/p>\n
Kate is a huge part of my life, present and future. The romantic story of our past is cute as well, but elementary school was a long time ago. I’ve gotten past needing a label for my relationship with Kate, because all of them require caveats and additional explanation. This is appropriate, because you can’t tell one life from the other any longer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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