{"id":211,"date":"2009-02-13T11:50:23","date_gmt":"2009-02-13T19:50:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/?p=211"},"modified":"2009-02-13T11:50:23","modified_gmt":"2009-02-13T19:50:23","slug":"life-is-sore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/2009\/02\/13\/life-is-sore\/","title":{"rendered":"life is sore"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Road Less Traveled<\/em><\/a>, the infamous self-help book of my youth, begins with “Life is difficult.”, a twist on the buddhist truth that “Life is suffering.” Some days I wonder about my emotional and physical pain thresholds. I figure the latter is much higher, too much emotional carnage usually produces a sea of anxiety. I’ve learned to walk away from that more and more over the years. Leaving Strategy two and a half years ago was the the tipping point where I started to recognize my problems with drawing a line in the sand and saying something was too much to ask of me. I recently got an email from a stranger asking for my opinion of Strategy, I’m still thinking about how to write the response.<\/p>\n

I rode with pointy3 yesterday. It’s been a while. Between vacation, shmooocon, being sick and being busy working on chef, I just haven’t had many free evenings in a while. I decided I needed to though, get out on the bike and enjoy the outdoors again. It was a pretty decent ride, although as usual I thought drinking doubles was a good idea at the time. I’m still trying to figure out what I want from a relationship and this came to sort of a head recently.<\/p>\n

A while back I was writing about how I hadn’t stopped to think about what a relationship should be now, expecting a sort of american dream post-high school path would appear eventually. I learned that lesson already, so it was a neat little line to draw. I can make a list of personality traits that someone I would like would have, but that’s as much who I want as a friend as who I’d want to date. I suppose I had this over-simplified conception that an ideal relationship would be the combination of someone I liked to spend time with, was attracted too, and shared some similar interests with.<\/p>\n

Older, wiser folks have told me that as you grow up relationships are more about working with someone to share your life together. With an emphasis on the work part. I guess I haven’t accepted that. I still compare perfecting relationships to the way I learn other things, and that as I understand more and more pieces, the puzzle comes together. This may or may not be a good idea. While my heart is squarely drowning in romanticism, my head usually takes the wheel and I have no expectations of movie plot love scenes. However, my problem is that I’m still expecting something that hasn’t happened yet. I don’t know what to do about that other than give it time.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I’m not sure that I’m not crazy, or just depressed. I firmly believe smarter folks, apathetic folks suffer from this angst<\/a> and it brings us down. So be it, for now I’m going to push through, enjoy some distractions, and choose a path on the other side.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Road Less Traveled, the infamous self-help book of my youth, begins with “Life is difficult.”, a twist on the buddhist truth that “Life is suffering.” Some days I wonder about my emotional and physical pain thresholds. I figure the latter is much higher, too much emotional carnage usually produces a sea of anxiety. I’ve […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=211"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":212,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211\/revisions\/212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=211"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=211"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=211"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}