{"id":473,"date":"2009-05-28T21:41:57","date_gmt":"2009-05-29T05:41:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/?p=473"},"modified":"2009-05-28T21:41:57","modified_gmt":"2009-05-29T05:41:57","slug":"confessions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/2009\/05\/28\/confessions\/","title":{"rendered":"confessions"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been calling Mom a lot lately with nowhere left to turn. Combined with the bruised ribs and related soreness, anxiety built up again today. Hello there again. Dating felt weird. I talk about my first date with L for a while. Mom says that I&#8217;m still not over L, and everyone is going to be in her shadow until I am.<\/p>\n<p>We talk about M, and how I finally came to hold M accountable for what she did to me, and leveraged that to move on. I have to acknowledge, against my stubborn and biased heart, the similarities between the situations. I&#8217;m very reluctant to believe someone with much heart and empathy can act so selfishly with so much disregard for what it will do to me. She&#8217;s right though. I&#8217;ve been here before. It&#8217;s my reckless trust that is so deeply ingrained in me, my love, that keeps blinding me to this reality. L specifically said that she was doing what was best for her, not for me, or for us. It doesn&#8217;t get any more clearly selfish than that. I should let myself hold her accountable for her hand in everything that&#8217;s happened.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been calling Mom a lot lately with nowhere left to turn. Combined with the bruised ribs and related soreness, anxiety built up again today. Hello there again. Dating felt weird. I talk about my first date with L for a while. Mom says that I&#8217;m still not over L, and everyone is going to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/473"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=473"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/473\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":474,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/473\/revisions\/474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}