playing with mysql high availability is time consuming in a waiting and reading sort of way…<\/p>\n
You know how a lightbulb turning on over your head is representative of getting something? I usually think more of an explosion coming out the side of my head, sort of like if a bullet was exiting it<\/a>.<\/p>\n Five years ago I wrote a journal entry in which I expressed that I felt lonely. My girlfriend at the time was upset by this, and her mother agreed with her, that it presented the impression that she was a bad girlfriend because I felt lonely. Go look at that picture again to get an idea of how my brain reacted.<\/p>\n The point was at the time was that I felt lonely because I felt that the people I was hanging out with, my ‘friends’ weren’t really. I was disappointed by my friendships. That wasn’t conveyed, but that really wasn’t the problem. The bigger problem there, which turned out to be a trend, was that she was more concerned about how her friends might percieve her based on something I wrote in a public journal than about how I was feeling.<\/p>\n And sure, I’ll grant that I worry significantly less than the average about how my peer group perceives my feelings. Today I had to underscore in an email that the people that matter to me know how I feel because I’ve told them, and the people that may judge how I feel, don’t really matter to me. It really is as simple as not having the time to worry about the judgment of strangers. This isn’t really a soap box that I’ve carefully constructed out of wood of ideals. It’s how I’ve always been. Now, it is that soap box insofar as it’s been constructed from my experiences.<\/p>\n Which comes into an interesting rant about identity, and how it affects esteem. Which I really want to write but I don’t have the time to start.<\/p>\n