{"id":648,"date":"2009-08-12T14:25:07","date_gmt":"2009-08-12T22:25:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/?p=648"},"modified":"2009-08-12T16:13:48","modified_gmt":"2009-08-13T00:13:48","slug":"beardos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/2009\/08\/12\/beardos\/","title":{"rendered":"beardos"},"content":{"rendered":"

Me:<\/strong> I can’t stop giggling. I blame sleep deprivation.<\/p>\n

What, exactly, is a beardo? Based on the rest of that paragraph, it must be something epic. Now there’s a bar set and everything for this story.<\/p>\n

Beardist:<\/strong> You know, people with unkempt beards tend to be weirdos. Present company included.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> Haha. That doesn’t sound like “didn’t just step out of ambercrombie weirdo” or “doesn’t plan on buying a condo weirdo”. I sense some beardmosity.<\/p>\n

Beardist:<\/strong>True, I don’t mind a little facial hair, but I don’t like beards. A beard is a physical barrier between a man and the world. If a guy is interested in being close to a woman, he doesn’t have a beard.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> “A beard is a physical barrier between a man and the world.”<\/p>\n

That is an epically awesome quote.<\/p>\n

“If a guy is interested in being close to a woman, he doesn’t have a beard.”<\/p>\n

My mind whirls at the possibilities. Mostly, I’m thinking about the beard that used to beat you as a child, or the non-intimate beard that would never let you get close and went to chop wood instead, or maybe the time that brawny wasn’t the quicker picker upper.<\/p>\n

Beardist:<\/strong> UNSUBSCRIBE.<\/p>\n

update:<\/p>\n

beardist<\/strong> has blocked any future correspondence with you.<\/p>\n

Also, those that were wondering what else was said… nothing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Me: I can’t stop giggling. I blame sleep deprivation. What, exactly, is a beardo? Based on the rest of that paragraph, it must be something epic. Now there’s a bar set and everything for this story. Beardist: You know, people with unkempt beards tend to be weirdos. Present company included. Me: Haha. That doesn’t sound […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/648"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=648"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/648\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":653,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/648\/revisions\/653"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.loftninjas.org\/rants\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}