I think I’ve mentioned a bit about how having printed photos of mine that I like has made the house feel more at home for me. I like that. There are other things, like taking care of it, mowing the lawn, housey things. I think since Maria and I broke up I’ve been using one of my dad’s LL Bean sleeping bags as a comforter until recently; when I bought a nice soft blue comforter from goodwill. It’s an interesting sense of comfy, and I like it too.

Today went alright, obviously from my earlier posts a lot was on my mind. I got up to Snoqualmie for a couple hours of snowboarding today, the only time this season, which was nice since this weekend is basically the end of the season. It was pretty alright riding. The terrain was a little slushy which was nice for falling down the side of a mountain but since I don’t wx my board or anything elite like that it was a little sticky on the flat parts.

I ran some errands and picked up Tracy, David and Ken from the Awful Shark. I saw Tanya, Anthony and Julie briefly but mostly enough to say hi and we came back home to Georgetown for some poker, drinking, and then a nice long excursion across the South Park bridge, up the west side of the Duwamish and back across the 1st Ave Bridge. Ken and Jason went down to Randy’s with us to finish off the night with some breakfast and now I’m pretty pooped since I was at Randy’s last night until about 4am and only got a few hours of sleep.

I feel like this morning’s post never got to the meat of what was on my mind at the time but I’m unsure I have the energy to return to that place right now. I spent a good chunk of today thinking about how I feel. That’s broad, I know. Basically I’m trying to somehow filter down my desires and find more happiness with less distraction. Time spent alone lacking distraction is generally lonely, so I’ve been thinking about why that is a bit. There was a time recently enough that I would have figured it was a sort of genetic programming but I don’t think I’m apt to let myself off that easy at the moment.

As I’ve thought a bit as of late about competitiveness, because of people around that have been and how I’ve been pretty avid about avoiding participating in such feelings, I still yearn for approval from people I like. I’d say that’s mostly an emotional bit, as I’m fairly comfortable with the approval from people I respect, which I don’t feel is emotionally motivated. It’s interesting if it’s that cleanly split. I’m gonna crash now.