Kate and I are having a child this year. The other night she listed off many of the big changes in the last year and it was a longer list than I expected. This is a big one.

After a lot of mourning I emailed Burning Man and told them I wouldn’t be coming back this year. That was hard. I had made working perimeter part of my identity. Alas, I’m working on reducing my commitments, realizing I’m over booked and that I should be prioritizing projects on the homestead. I hope friends from the northwest come and visit. I doubt many will though. If they do, a nice surprise. I actually got an email today from someone I knew from Seattle who is in Boston for a spell.

When I got back from my trip, Kate showed me ultrasound pictures from about week 10. Hands! It has hands! So crazy. Yesterday we had another doctors appointment and got to hear its heartbeat. It has a heart! We are both so very emotionally invested in this. We had been planning on it, but not right now. Alas it is now, and the surprise has not stopped us from becoming immediately focused on caring for something that hasn’t been born yet.

I’ve been running lately and tracking it on Endomondo. That month of traveling broke it all up, but I’m focusing on it again. Having the data of Endomondo helps me build a bigger story for myself. I recently read In The Long Run. The author uses a runners journal and a goal of the NY Marathon to encourage his running (as well as being an overweight alcoholic with personal issues. We all have many demons). I think I’m using graphs. I’m getting into it though.

I almost emailed a book review last week to L, but remembered I said I wouldn’t contact her again and convinced myself not to. Running reminds me of her as well. Clearly this feeling will last a really long time, but I’ve made my peace with it. I’m happy with my life, and with this feeling.

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